Do we all have to do something to feel that we are alive? You know why people get depressed? Because society’s pressure about feeling alive is actually very wrong and stressful. Some life coaches will probably come after me for saying this, but most of the time, they are the ones telling you, “Do something! Climb Everest! That way you will feel alive!”
Do we really have to do something to feel alive? Can’t you feel alive without doing anything? Now, here you will read something completely different. I will advise you to just live—and be okay with it. I once wrote a funny poem where I basically said, “Whether you do something or not, life goes on!”
I have understood something from this life: it really does go on—whether you climb Everest or stay at home, read a book or watch a movie, it will continue. You cannot be happy until you stop regretting the days when you did nothing. I know you feel bad when you scroll through social media—someone has already visited Paris, another person has posted a photo on the Great Wall of China, and you’re just sitting there, liking their pictures with sadness.
But what if you believed that life is life, and there’s no need to regret anything? What if you first learned to enjoy every moment, even when you’re doing absolutely nothing? Do you have to connect with people, meet your friends, go to parties, take yoga classes, join meditation groups, or travel to India to find the meaning of life?
Maybe life is still beautiful, even if it mirrors the movie Groundhog Day 100%. We all loved that movie because it motivated us to do something. But at the same time, it brought a certain sadness, because it warns you that if you just live your life as it is, you’re repeating the same day over and over.
What if you’re simply tired of society’s nonsense? What if you just want to rest your soul until you die? What if your only joy is sipping coffee while looking outside? Do we all have to be wealthy? Do we all have to be athletic? Do we all have to love our jobs, be explorers, or be famous? What if life was just life?
Bravo to you if you’ve gone paragliding! Well, it’s not for me—I don’t like heights! Do you want to go visit the Amazon? Good luck! No thanks, I don’t want to join you, because I don’t want to become food for an anaconda! You might think I’m negative now. No, I’m not negative. I just don’t want to do what you do. Sometimes, true desires are not physical—they’re mental achievements.
If you need to do something to be happy, you are doomed. That means you need something external to give you joy and fulfillment. If you don’t have peace in your heart and mind, you won’t be able to stay in peace on your own. You’ll always crave something to entertain you. Your happiness will depend on the external world.
We are all different, but most of us suffer from anxiety. Do you know why? Because we force ourselves to match this idea of “living a fulfilled life before we die.” Maybe you believe the only way to learn about life is to travel the world or boost your adrenaline and dopamine with extreme sports. But hey, when you seek advice about happiness, you go to someone sitting on a mountain—a Tibetan monk who never experienced any of those things! He stayed in his temple, sat all day long, and practiced mindfulness. If the key to life were found through constant action, the monk would have to come to you, not the other way around.
Yet, when you want to understand the meaning of life, you seek a guru or a monk who has never left his village.
Do not regret your beautiful Groundhog Days. Life is life. Whatever you do, do not regret it. The moment you enjoy your most cliché day, you will truly enjoy your life. The key to a good life is creating your own mindfulness. Let them climb mountains, host concerts, fall in love again and again, have parties, raise a dozen children, join meditation and yoga classes, go out every Friday and Saturday night, and take dance classes. You don’t have to do what they do.
Do you really want to feel alive? Then be sure that you are a good person. Be kind. Have a clean mind and a beautiful heart. Want to be happy? Learn to love yourself. Learn to forgive yourself. Forgive, in your mind, the people who hurt you. Learn to appreciate. Stop holding on to bad memories. Stop trying to impress people. Stop holding on to toxic people and relationships. Stop even trying to smile in all your pictures. Stop judging others. Try to be happy by living without bad habits, addictions, cravings, or attachments. Free your soul. You are at home—this is your republic, your democracy, your freedom. Don’t regret not doing anything. Take your coffee, look at the same buildings every day.
Even if you feel like your days are always the same, the weather changes. The people on the street change. The songs you listen to, the books you read, the movies you watch, the food you eat—they all change. Nature never allows you to experience the exact same day twice. If you are happy with your repeating days, you will be even happier when life surprises you—your friends, holidays, and unexpected moments.
Stop worrying about your day. Stop saying, “I didn’t do anything today.” Yes, you did—your body did, your mind did, nature did. When you enjoy your ordinary days, you’ll enjoy your holidays even more.
Remember, nobody goes to the Great Wall of China or the Eiffel Tower in Paris and stays there forever. Those moments are rare. Even if you climb Everest, it only lasts a few days. No one lives a life as “fulfilled” as Groundhog Day suggests. You don’t have that much money, you don’t have that constant energy, and your health will not always be the same.
The moment you stop regretting your ordinary days, you will feel that you are finally alive!
Victoria Toumit